I have been fortunate enough to have the health for participation in several endurance events, notably marathons as well as a handful of triathlons. Finishing my first marathon during my last year of medical school actually may have been the most impressive thing I did in those years when putting that next to my transcript. After a brief hiatus during the training years of residency, I was able to get back into the habit. As my wife participated in a couple of triathlons, she encouraged me to try it. I am really glad that I did, as it was an incredibly rewarding experience, both the training and the actual event. Having an organized schedule off of which to check workouts was helpful in providing a sense of completion of something. After doing a couple of smaller triathlons, I signed up for and completed an Ironman race in Quebec. The training was intense but gratifying, and by race day I felt well prepared. I had imagined what crossing the finish line would feel like. I looked at some pictures of people who did cross the line. Several people were pumping their fists in the air. Others were tearful as they completed what was likely the most grueling physical event of their lives. Some were just plain exhausted. As I came running down the final quarter mile chute of people cheering on the participants, I remember getting goose bumps and having an overwhelming feeling of peaceful focus. Everything just became quiet inside my head. As I crossed the finish line, the serenity of the event persisted as I thanked those volunteers around me for putting on the event. I do not remember feeling that way during any other event in my life.
When people talk with me about Ironman, they are typically in awe of anyone who does it, and they comment on how daunting a task it appears. They frequently say that they could never do that, that the thought of training to those distances is too fearsome. I also remember thinking similarly when I was younger. The idea of running more than 4 miles seemed a scary proposition. I thought going any farther than that would surely cause injury and debility. With experience and pushing the envelope over the years, I eventually got to a point in which endurance activities feel normal to my body, that running double digit miles or swimming more than a mile feels routine.
As in many facets of life, those things that are hard to do regularly turn out to be the most worthwhile experiences. We often feel a remarkable sense of accomplishment when we have completed a rigorous, disciplined schedule of training that has taken several months or years to finish, whether it be an educational degree, advancement in career, or a physical endeavor. Though the journey appeared intimidating, unattainable, and maybe dangerous, it turns out to be the true reward, and the destination provides a reflection back on that journey.
Approaching a frightful, uncomfortable proposition isn’t in our natures. We see what appears to be reasonable, comfortable, and often choose that route. One unique story of approaching that which appears dangerous is the burning tree that Moses sees on Mount Horeb (aka Sinai). He witnesses a sign that is of the divine, and rather than run away he approaches it. Soon afterwards, he appears to wish he had turn the other way, little did he know he was stepping right into the middle of a seemingly impossible task of playing the primary role in the rescue of the Hebrews from Egypt. He obviously has little self-confidence as he pleads with Yahweh to free him of this assignment, to find someone else who may more effectively carry out this plan. Five times does he bring forth an opposition to Yahweh’s calling for him as liberator of the Hebrews! Nevertheless, he agrees to this role and is spared death shortly afterward. He met God on the mountain (analogous to the Garden of Eden in Genesis), stood in his presence in front of the burning tree (analogous to the Tree of Life in Genesis), and, with initial resistance, accepted a calling. He received an experience and reached a place that his inner being resisted, and it led to the freedom from slavery of a nation.
A closely related story is played out again at the same mountain (now referred to as Sinai) some time later. The Hebrews, fresh out of Egypt and miraculously saved through the chaotic waters which consumed their pursuers, are at the foot of the mountain. Per Yahweh’s initial sign to Moses that he was the one to bring the Israelites out, the same thing that Moses was experiencing at that initial encounter would be available to the entire nation: worship on the mountain, not at the foot of it. As Moses experienced an otherworldly moment before the return to Egypt, so were the Israelites to do so on the mountain after their escape from Egypt. Yahweh invites the people to experience Himself speaking with Moses and hear first-hand on the mountain their communication, calling them to prepare themselves over the course of three days in order to ascend the mountain with Moses. But when the time comes to go up into the Presence, the people end up staying down, and only Moses and his brother go up. On reading the account, it may seem nebulous as to the reason for this. The people are certainly fearful of the mountain and pull back, but Yahweh also tells Moses to warn the people not to force their way into his Presence at risk of death. In the end, the people are not ready for this experience.
Upon reading the few stories prior to the arrival at the foot of the mountain, we see several tests in which the Israelites failed to trust Yahweh’s wisdom and provision, i.e. complaining of bitter water in the wilderness, lack of food. It should be no surprise that if they failed those tests, they would surely fail this one with the thunderous presence of Yahweh hovering atop the mountain. Moses even says, as the people are balking at entering the presence of Yahweh firsthand and instead want to send him up alone, that they are being tested. Will they ascend the mountain and experience something frightening and dangerous yet inherently awe-inspiring and revelatory of their place in the world? It is an uncomfortable, uncertain invitation into a new realm. It is totally unknown to their experience of the world around. They would be safer at the foot of the mountain, tucked away in their own understanding and control of the world. We eventually see what happens when they choose this path: they create gods that they can control and in doing so degrade themselves. In the end they accept far less for their lives than what had been planned for them to receive.
While the story involves roaring thunder atop a high mountain in the Middle Eastern desert, and threats of death for the ill prepared, it remains relevant for just about all of us today. How often do we see opportunities that offer a life-changing moment, and we pass on them because the journey required to arrive at that moment is too risky and ambiguous? Of course we all may be presented with options in our lives that are ill advised, and we need wisdom to discern between risks worth taking and those that aren’t. But I would suspect that all of us have had opportunities in which we knew the chance we could take yielded an overall promising odds ratio, and we opted for the safer option. After seeing how they were rescued from Egypt, and knowing Moses’ story of a similar experience at that same place, the Hebrews should have know that, with the pros/cons balance, ascending the mountain to be in the presence of Yahweh would have produced a result in their ultimate favor.
I see my experience in endurance racing in a miniscule yet relatable model of the Sinai story. I certainly do not mean to equate completing a marathon or triathlon with ascending the sacred mountain, but I think we all have some microcosmic parallel to the Sinai story in our lives, no matter how insignificant we may think it on the grand scheme. Those of us who like to watch athletes perform on television, or in person, may never think about participating in what they do, whether in a school or rec league. We may think we have been sedentary for too long, are in too poor of physical shape, to suddenly change habits and participate in sport. I was for many years, then I found it was much more fun, healthful, and rewarding to “be the athlete” than to sit on the sidelines.
While the idea of being a recreational athlete may not be a curiosity to several people, to many others it would be. What would it take to train for and complete an endurance race? What are some of the obstacles to prevent me from doing that? Exercising more than I ever thought possible? In the dark of morning, or crammed into a lunch break? Wouldn’t that cause discomfort and pain, even if done in a tempered, methodical, and realistic manner? Might I have to change my nutritional habits, ditch the daily soda and chips, in order to help my body adjust to such a rigorous routine?
Yes, doing the above would be very helpful in order to complete endurance sport. It seems uncomfortable, and it is. Initially. But our bodies can do these things. We were meant to be physically active, with a capacity far beyond what we may think possible. It is in us, just as it was in the Hebrews to approach Sinai and enter the Presence. And what awaits us if we were to go through the lifestyle changes necessary to do such things? I found a new sense of accomplishment, health, and belief in my capacity that I didn’t know was there. The exuberance of approaching the finish line is burned into my memory. So are my thoughts shortly after of hoping that I will get to do this again at another stage in life, while in the meantime continuing long-distance aerobic outings as the schedule allows. When Moses came down from Sinai after his encounters with Yahweh, his face had a glow that frightened the people. Moses apparently hid his face from the people, but when he returned to the presence of Yahweh, he removed the veil to face him. I doubt anyone confused my face for a large LED light bulb, though I felt glowingly at the end of the triathlon. Here’s to hoping those moments persist!